Understanding Emotional Needs — Counselling to Meet Each Other Where You Are

mzarwellness
2 days ago
2 min read

In counselling, we recognise that individuals possess unique emotional needs. When these needs are consistently met, they foster feelings of love, security, and happiness within relationships.

Conversely, if these crucial needs remain unmet or are misunderstood, they often lead to frustration and a sense of disconnection.

What This Blog Covers This blog focuses on identifying your own and your partner’s emotional needs, how misunderstanding these needs can cause conflict, and counselling strategies including Gottman’s approach to help partners meet each other with empathy and care. I include relatable examples and explain how ZAR Wellness Counselling supports you in this journey.

relationship counselling sunshine coast not meeting emotional needs

Why Emotional Needs Matter

Lily wanted more affection and verbal reassurance, while her partner, Dave, valued acts of service. They felt unloved because each expected love to look like their own needs, not realising they were speaking different “love languages.”

Unmet emotional needs can cause:

Feeling unloved or rejected
Increased arguments over “small” things
Emotional withdrawal or resentment

Recognising Emotional Needs in Your Relationship

What makes you feel most connected?
How do you show love to your partner?
Are your needs being voiced clearly?
Are you aware of your partner’s love preferences?

How Counselling Helps Explore Emotional Needs

Counselling helps you:

Identify your core emotional needs
Communicate these needs clearly and kindly
Understand and validate your partner’s needs
Create practical ways to meet each other’s needs

Gottman Techniques That Help

Love Maps: Deepening knowledge about your partner’s world — their likes, fears, dreams — to respond better.
The Stress-Reducing Conversation: Discussing life stressors to build emotional support.
Expressing Appreciation: Regularly noticing and acknowledging your partner’s efforts.

Real-Life Example of how Relationship Counselling Helped

Lily and Dave attended counselling to bridge their love language gap. Dave learned that Lily’s requests for affection were her way of feeling safe and loved, while Lily appreciated Dave’s acts of service more when she understood their meaning. They started small rituals that combined their needs — like a weekly dinner with hugs and help around the house.

couples & relationship counselling sunshine coast

How ZAR Wellness Counselling Can Help

I help couples uncover emotional needs and develop compassionate communication and actions that nurture your bond. I use proven frameworks alongside personalised support.

Take the First Step

Understanding emotional needs is key to lasting love. Book an appointment with Maryanne at ZAR Wellness Counselling on the Sunshine Coast or online to start your journey toward deeper connection.

🗓️ Book a Session with Maryanne at ZAR Wellness Counselling

I offer personalised couples counselling designed to help you: